I don't know about you but for me, spending time with Jesus every day is a struggle. It shouldn't be. It should be the easiest and most natural thing in the world but... it's the world that distracts me. I can get so caught up in, and overwhelmed by, the day-to-day busyness of this thing called life that my alone time with Jesus gets relegated to the bottom of my to-do list. How sad is that?
A few days of parenting, taking care of a home, working, laundry, cooking, running errands, preparing for teaching, church, writing, and trying to sneak in spending time with friends and suddenly I am completely depleted and feeling overwhelmed and alone. Hmmmmm.... it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what's missing!
I have struggled with bouts of loneliness on and off over the years since Ron died. I intentionally fill my days with as many tasks and activities as possible to distract me. This works most of the time. But when I do slow down, the loneliness creeps back in. Getting to know God more intimately and letting His amazing and overwhelming love surround me fills all my empty places.
When I miss my alone time with the Lord I know my day will be joyless and empty no matter how busy I am. So, my "remedy" on those crazy days when I have to hit the ground running as soon as my alarm goes off... is music. I'm not saying that this takes the place of my quiet time with His word. But... music is a form of worship and the right music can usher me into His presence in a very tangible way.
Two of my most favorite songs... songs that absolutely fill the room with His presence... are on my friend Jason's self-titled CD.
"Oh I Want to know You More" reminds me that I need to seek His heart as passionately as He seeks mine. It takes me to that place when I was just beginning to fall in love with Ron and wanted to know everything about him. My relationship with my Savior should be so much more than any earthly love.
"In the Room" brings my mind to a favorite place... sitting in the church or a retreat center after everyone else has left. I love the way His presence permeates every inch of the space and it overwhelms me to have been present when His Spirit moved.
(You can click on the above titles for a short clip of these amazing songs.)
And, since God uses Jason to bring me to a place of Worship... I want to give him a shameful plug to show my gratitude :)
So, if you would like to purchase Jason's CDs (which clearly I recommend), click here!
The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He takes great delight in you, LeAnn, He will quiet you with His love, He rejoices over you with singing.
(Zephaniah 3:7)
Sweet Blessings,
LeAnn
3 comments:
LeAnn,
I know how you feel. I lost my husband too. It will be 10 years this Christmas. He passed away on Christmas night 2000. I have 2 children, both married with each 1 child. They both live out of town, but not that far that I can't drive over to visit them. They have their own life, I can't bother them as much as I would like to. I am lucky I do have friends, but with my friends they also have husbands. I just lost my brother and Mother a month ago. I loved calling my Mom, but now she is gone too. Thank goodness we have Jesus to talk to. He has helped me so much, finacially, and just getting through the days.
All I can say is keep the faith God here with us. Love, Jo
Hi LeAnn, i read your september, 29th blog and i must confess i feel u. u see sometimes i permit myself to feel depressed so i can get my act together and move on. one thing is, i do not dwell in it for long. Rather i allow it for some few days and stand again. just like the eagle who goes and shed its old feathers and bick. i lost my husband just 4 years ago and it has not been easy but hey, i have to rely on the only who has promised and he is faithful all the time. and that is my JESUS. He is my first love.
Hi LeAnn, I lost my husband two years ago and I know how you feel. I have been a christian for a long time but you really get to know Him in a different, special way when you go through a death. He has brought me so far and yet I still have some very dark days filled with an ache of lonliness that is sometimes scarey. I'm taking your advice and trying to find a place where I can volunteer and help others. I know that there are people out there far worse off then me and I want to help them. I am very grateful for your blog it is a blessing. Thank you. I will keep you in my prayers and would appreciate your prayers as well. God bless you. Debby
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